In the UK The Traitors has become hugely popular, and many children and teens are gripped by it. While it’s designed as entertainment for adults, it’s worth pausing to consider it may be sending subtle messages to our children about honesty, trust, and relationships. In the same way as ‘Britain’s got talent’ can put judges on a pedestal if they are judgemental and scathing.

At the heart of the programme is lying and deception. The traitors are praised for lying convincingly, manipulating others, and hiding their true intentions in order to win a lot of money. For adults, it’s usually clear that this behaviour is part of a game. For children, however, that distinction isn’t always so obvious.

One message children may absorb is that lying is clever or admirable if it helps you succeed. When dishonest behaviour is rewarded with praise, power, or money, it can blur a child’s developing understanding of right and wrong—especially for younger children who tend to think more literally.

Another possible message is that trusting people makes you vulnerable or an idiot. The show encourages constant suspicion and second-guessing. Over time, this can quietly reinforce the idea that you should never fully trust others, which can affect how children approach friendships and relationships.

Children may also see examples of emotional harm being justified. Players form bonds they fully intend to break, comfort others while deceiving them, and excuse betrayal because it’s part of ‘the game.’ Without your guidance, your child may struggle to understand why this is acceptable on TV but not OK in real life.

It’s important to remember that children are still developing empathy, moral reasoning, and emotional awareness. They need repeated real-world messages that honesty builds trust, that relationships matter, and that how we make others feel is important – even when there’s something to gain.

This doesn’t mean parents need to ban shows like The Traitors. In fact, it can be a useful conversation starter. Talking with our children about what they see makes a huge difference.

You might ask:

• “How do you think that person felt when they found out?”
• “Is lying OK in real life?” “Why?”
• “How would you feel if you found out a friend was lying to you?”
• “What’s the difference between a game and real relationships?”

When adults name the values clearly—kindness, honesty, empathy—children are far more likely to understand that winning a game isn’t the same as being a good friend or person.

With a little guidance, even a show built on deception can become an opportunity to teach our children about integrity, trust, and emotional responsibility.