Being regarded as a parenting expert Elizabeth is often asked to appear on Radio, TV and other media platforms to give her experienced opinion. Todays topic is, are children allowed the same rights of privacy as an adult?
You can either read the transcript or listen to the audio at the bottom of the page.
BBC Sussex IntervIew On Child Privacy
Mark:
They’re asking you whether or not you think children have the same right to privacy as adults. So I’d like to hear your thoughts on this. If you’re a parent, where do you set the boundary? For example, how about this? Would you go into your child’s bedroom? Would you look at their computer and ask them who their friends are? Would you maybe read their diary, if you found it lying around?
You see I’ve got all these things to come. I’m dreading that part. I think bringing up toddlers is tough enough. Goodness knows what it’s like when you bring up a teenager. How do you draw the line between making sure your child is safe and happy, and respecting their private lives? This on the back of campaign is claiming that the extent of CCTV surveillance in schools is now raising serious questions about the privacy of children. (CCTV, Pros. Cons)
Mark:
Now, here in Sussex and Surrey, there are 11 schools which use cameras in toilets and changing rooms. Big Brother Watch reckons there’s an average of 24 cameras in each secondary school in England, Scotland and Wales. On the line now, Elizabeth O’Shea who’s a mother of four and runs Parents 4 Success, helping parents in Horsham and across West Sussex. Good morning, Elizabeth.
Elizabeth O”Shea:
Good Morning, Mark. Nice to speak to you.
Mark:
And to you too, this morning. So, I mean, do children have the same right to privacy?
Elizabeth O”Shea:
I’m afraid, I think once they start needing that right then yes, they do. I think once a child reaches about the age of eight or nine, you should knock to go into their room. I think they are entitled to keep a diary and know that it’s safe from prying eyes. I think it’s so useful for a child to be able to write down all their thoughts and feelings. And, if yours ended up writing I hate dad I wish you would leave home. You’d feel really hurt, but it’s their way of expressing themselves. Getting it on paper and then looking back at it and thinking actually isn’t that bad, he’s all right sometimes.
Mark:
All right. I’ll present you with a real life dilemma that came to one of my friends. It wasn’t to me, but to one of my friends who has a daughter who is on Facebook and Facebook, for those who don’t know it, kind of a social networking site where you can type comments online and you can put pictures of your friends and so on. And, somebody alerted me and said, you know our friend’s daughter? They’ve got a picture on there. And, have you seen the length of the skirt? And have you seen the pose that that girl is in? And they were in a real complete dilemma as to whether or not to raise this with the parents themselves, or were they simply invading their privacy? Should they be minding their own business in the first place?
Elizabeth O”Shea:
Well, actually, I mean, that’s fairly mild. A lot of children do a lot worse. Use a lot of expletives, photographs. I know one of my daughter’s friends had a photograph of her in her brown knickers with a condom in her mouth at 15.
Mark:
But you see now that horrifies me as I can’t bear the thought of that happening to my daughter in a few years.
Elizabeth O”Shea:
Exactly. And I think that Facebook is one of those things that you need to be thinking, one, at what age do you introduce it to a child? The minimum age should be 13, but a lot of parents let their children have it sooner. But I feel that when they’re younger teens, you should be one of their friends. There should be nothing that they post on there that should be something that they wouldn’t want you to see.
If there is, you need to work on your relationship with your child, because if your child is saying, no, I’m not going to have you as a friend on Facebook, you need to find out why and be sure that there are other people that you know that are able to keep half an eye, so that there isn’t anything damaging because as you know, Facebook lasts for life, and those photographs can be accessed for a long, long time.
Mark:
So, presumably you are against these CCTV cameras in schools?
Elizabeth O”Shea:
I think that CCTV cameras are fine, but I object to their use in a changing room. I do think that breaks a child’s right to privacy. I think they should be allowed to change in peace. Having said that, they’re often put in toilets because the children vandalize the toilets. I would just say if a child is happy with their schooling and there are good relationships with the teachers and with their school, they are much less likely to want to vandalize somewhere. I think a lot of this is about, we need to control, we need to keep an eye on our children.
We need to monitor them, we need to put tracking devices on their mobile phones. And that’s about control. What we need to be doing is teaching our children to make wise choices about situations that they may find themselves in and play the what if game.
Mark:
It’s interesting as to what those cameras be used for now, you use example for instance, what about if there’s vandalism going on in the school? But actually, one of my earlier callers said to me, look, I was a prefect at school. It was many years ago, but I can remember the school bullies. And actually, anything he was saying anything that stops incidents of bullying. For example, he said, put cameras wherever you want to. He said, because if it’s going to protect, in his case, my grandchildren, I don’t mind. I don’t mind cameras here, there and everywhere.
Elizabeth O”Shea:
Well, I have to say I haven’t got a problem with them being able to monitor quiet areas. The only problem I have is when it does intervene with a child’s right. You’ve got to think very carefully about putting a camera in a toilet or a changing room. And it may be that the children keep their belongings outside, or there are cameras outside the toilet and there are time sort of things flashing up so that you can monitor exactly who went into that toilet and when. And, if there is vandalism, you work out the last 10 children that went into that toilet.
Mark:
And suffice to say any of your children’s diaries would never be read by you.
Elizabeth O”Shea:
No. Now, having said all of that, I think there are exceptions to the rule and the exceptions would be, if you thought your child was very depressed and could be at risk of suicide. I think you would feel that you needed to in some way, find out what was going on in their head, in order to really get to the bottom of it. Because often they’re very withdrawn there. And I would also say if you had a serious concern about something that might be happening in that child’s life and the relationship wasn’t such that you could support that. I think the most important thing is connection with your child.
The most important thing is being able to chat regularly with your child so that they can share things and things can come out in conversation. But if you really were concerned that the child was at risk of a pedophile or drug taking or something really untoward, wandering off with somebody from the internet, then I think that’s where you would be excused from the point of view of trying to keep your child safe.
Mark:
All right, Elizabeth O’Shea good to speak to you. It’s a tough job this parenting business, isn’t it?
Elizabeth O”Shea:
It is a tough job. And it’s tough to be able to think about the right reason for what you’re doing.
Mark:
All right. Thank you for your time. Really nice to speak to you, Elizabeth O’Shea there. And she runs Parents 4 Success. Helping parents in Horsham and West Sussex.
