If you’re pregnant and you want to tell your toddler, firstly, wait until the pregnancy is showing.
9 months is a lifetime for a toddler.
So wait until you’re at least 12 weeks pregnant to be sure it’s well established.
However it’s best if your child hears the news from you, rather than a neighbour or friend, so you’ll have to judge it carefully.

Secondly, choose a good time, tell your toddler you’re having a baby and explain the benefits from your toddler’s point of view.
So at a calm time, when no one is stressed or rushed, when you and your partner are together, tell your toddler that in a while you’re going to have a new baby.
Talk to your toddler about how exciting it is.
And tell them that when the baby is older they’ll have a friend to play with.
Explain that he or she is going to be a big brother or sister.
And that you love your toddler so much, and you’re so proud of them, you want their help in showing the baby how they can grow up to be just like them.
Tell your toddler that you will still love them just as much as you always have, and you’ll get extra love to love the baby too.
If your child is excited, great!
Would they like to be the one to tell Grandma and Grandad? Even if they already know.
If they’re sad, just comfort them and let them know that it’s normal to feel happy and sad about a new baby.
And if they’re completely disinterested that’s ok too.  It probably isn’t feeling real for them yet.

Finally, help them get a realistic idea of what it will be like when the baby arrives.
Notice other mums who have babies, read books about it, and explain what will happen when the baby is ready to be born.
If possible, let them spend time with real babies.
Show them pictures of themselves as babies and talk about what they were like.
Explain that to start with, babies sleep and feed and cry.
Ask your child lots of questions about what they think will happen when the baby comes, and correct them if you need to.
Tell them what little jobs they may be able to help with like talking to the baby and sometimes rocking it and maybe fetching things when you change its nappy.
And remember to reassure them that you love them hugely.

So when you’re telling your toddler you’re pregnant, wait until the pregnancy is showing.

1. Choose a good time.
2. Tell your toddler you’re having a baby. And explain the benefits from your toddler’s point of view.
3. And help them get a realistic idea of what it will be like when the baby arrives.

If you found this useful, visit my website parent4success.com and sign up for my ‘Video Tips for Raising Toddlers,’ and you’ll get my latest video blogs sent straight to your inbox.

If you need more than three tips on this – or you’d like to discover the secrets you need to have happy well-behaved, children – please contact me by clicking here. You can arrange a free 20-minute (no obligation) chat to find out if working with me personally (by phone, Skype or face-to-face) would help you and your family. Contact Elizabeth

child behavioural expert
The author:

Elizabeth O’Shea is a parenting specialist child behaviour expert and one of the leading parenting experts in the UK.

Need help now? Ready to explore whether investing in some tailor-made parenting sessions would be right for you and your family? Book your FREE 20-minute call with Elizabeth here